The Unstagrammer: You can be social on media and not be a tw*t

This evening I introduced my sister to the delights of Snapchat and she simultaneously saw the hilarity in it, now that could have been the whisky and gingers in her but I somehow doubt it because I also love Snapchat when I’m of a sober disposition.


We discussed the egotistical side of this snap and film happy app but as much as it can be used to say “look at my amazing life,” (or rather the life I want to portray) it can also be used to say “I’m a freaking nerd and these weird facial takeovers kill me.”

I’m that social being that uploads things for my own pleasure and that could totally be viewed as narcissistic but I prefer to take the mick out of myself than to come across all alluring and sexy because the simple fact is I’m not a sexy person and anyone that dares to say I am, well they’ll get some serious open mouth, open eye revulsion.

I’m a recent Snapchat inhabitant and upon my first download I just couldn’t fathom out what the point of this app was, unless you were famous or had a big following of people that needed to know what you were up to at 2:30pm or 3:15am, why on earth did you need it clogging up your smartphone data storage? I think I lasted 2 weeks before I wished our friendly ghost adios and it took me many months, maybe even a year before I felt myself and my social media acquaintances were ready for the jelly (please be safe in the knowledge that I don’t get my jelly out, especially not on social media for all to see, I do have some decorum.)

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In the end Snapchat is basically like any social tool- a heap of people who feel the need to download it but don’t really contribute fully in that it’s of any use or amusement to your life and that’s where I discovered or admitted to those few people that actually followed me, that I genuinely can make myself laugh. The face swaps and face takeovers, with slow motion and sped up effects are so self celebratory that I could probably watch them back like a vine video and it’s more than likely not funny to those daring to view these shenanigans but people just can’t resist a glimpse. You know you’ve made your mark when people actually respond to your story or actually message you directly.


So here I am, confessing that sometimes social media doesn’t have to be all LOOK AT ME! That sometimes it’s just there for us to behave like animals and save ourselves a few quid, rather than paying to see big time comedians. I’ll tell you this, that on first erection it might seem like the most confusing app of your life but on the resurrection you’ll understand why it’s so popular.

In times of boredom, this is your app.








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