Show me a sign.

Last week I told you how I was due to go on a date or whatever you call it these days with a guy that seemed like a great catch, however what I failed to mention was that this was actually Take 2 of meeting up because the week before my phone had fallen into chaos. I have the worst luck with technology and my mobile phones are notorious for f*cking with me. Long story short, my phone wasn’t functioning, so there was no possible contact between me and my date (unless thinking about it now I had text from someone else’s phone.. the old can I borrow a text card.) Being the worrier that I am, I thought of a way to contact him just to say it would be best to rearrange, so he didn’t think I was making up excuses. How did I contact him? Via Plenty Of Fish (don’t judge me too harshly please!)

 

These days I think it’s so common to hear lies and drivel, that it’s difficult to fathom out truth from fiction. So in the 2 days of my phone going incognito my mind ran riot (my brain loves to do this frequently) but once my phone had been fixed I was expecting to receive a text backing up my hope that the date had made an effort to contact me as I had. No texts, no voice mail, nothing, but in thinking it over would it have made a difference? Is that me just being sensitively needy? Supposedly my guy had tried calling me but when you’ve got a new phone and it’s last iCloud backup was from the week before, it seems legit that his phone calls wouldn’t appear on my phone so this was something I had to write off.

Sadly that week didn’t work out but we started a fresh and decided we would meet the coming week. I got myself ready and spoke to my date earlier, after the briefest of replies I continued to get ready but 4 hours or so later I hadn’t heard anything, so there I go again, not wanting to seem desperate or needy for information but I appreciate some organisation. I text one last time, you know in a bouncy ‘I’m not angry but I could be soon if y’all don’t answer me’ way.

 

Delivered but not Read! So I get mad, so mad that if I had gone out I would have put other people off. Checking my sent message in the morning and seeing that it hadn’t been read still infuriated me further but I went about my Saturday afternoon plans and then got a reply some 20 hours later. The guy had actually fallen asleep on some weird 10 hour plus sleepathon which sounds more clowning than my weird phone excuse.

This weekend will be the third time in which we’re attempted to meet and I need to publicly address this and say that if sh*t hits the fan once again it must be a sign right? Are the planets aligning to tell me I shouldn’t bother with this or have these failed attempts been the most annoying coincidences or bouts of bad luck?

Would you give it another shot? Do you believe in signs? It’s been an unfortunate beginning to something that’s not even begun and because of the false starts I don’t feel like my hearts in it now, it’s more like I’m going through the formalities and at the back of my head I don’t see it going anywhere and that’s probably due to my own insecurities but like I’ve said to people, I owe it to myself to say that I made the effort.

As a friend of mine posted this week “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” I really don’t go out intentionally looking to be scorned, for me people need to prioritise certain aspects of their life. I always wanted to be that sucker in love but now I feel I’m becoming that person that believes love only happens in fairy tales and even those fair maidens have their fair share of hardships. So who out there thinks I’m crazy to give this a go third time lucky??

 

That Awkward Moment When You Realise They’re Just Not Into You

Men are the bane of my life, or should I say the lack of a man is the bane of it? I’ve been single for more years than I’d like to share and that’s not through embarrassment, I just can’t fathom out where my relationships with men have started and finished. If a man asks me how long I’ve been single for I’ll say two and a half years because in the period since then I’ve completed the first dates (there was once a second date) and there’s been a barrage of technophilic chit chat. The sad but uncommon fact about the person I dated if you could even call it that was that I wasn’t his girlfriend, he hadn’t introduced me to his friend’s or family, he definitely never took me out but I saw him on a regular basis, I loved spending time with him and I experienced my first bout of heartbreak when he revealed to me that he’d gotten himself a girlfriend. I remember grabbing my things together and getting the hell out of his place and within a few minutes receiving a phone call asking with no irony whatsoever “Why did you leave like that?” I presumed firstly that his new girlfriend was on her way over oblivious to my presence and so I explained “I’m doing you the biggest favour by leaving, otherwise you’ll have hell to pay!” Silence fell because in that moronic brain of his he realised i) there was nothing left to say ii) I’d made this easy for him. Sometimes I think should I have reacted differently? I could have loitered in waiting for the girlfriend, I could have kicked up a fuss with him but honestly I think apart from feeling sorry for the girlfriend and thinking I should have spoken to her women to women, my reaction clearly shows that I really really wasn’t that into him.

In the plus year that I’d spent getting to know this man but yet still didn’t know enough about this man I had never once poised the conversation about what we were doing? In hindsight, quite soon after this episode I knew this wasn’t someone that I would have wanted to introduce to my parents and having just visualised his face, with his pixie nose that I once deemed cute, his piercing blue eyes that back then were eyes only for me, I feel a surge of abashment. You see I am a woman blinded by lust but perhaps I’m just as startled that anyone would have me.

Watching That Awkward Moment was so bleeding obvious but then again chick flicks always are. I knew Zac Efron ‘the player’ would change his ways and fall in love, I knew Miles Teller ‘the clown’ would end up with his female best friend and I was half right that Michael B Jordan ‘the sentimental soul’ would get back with his ex. Films like this can be so transparent but then it appears to me that dating in the real world is just like that. Maybe not in the heat of the moment but when you look back, feeling a wave of shame and you completely get what it was your girlfriend’s were trying to tell you.

One of the few chick flicks that I enjoyed was He’s Just Not Into You, where a young woman just can’t read the signs given out by her dates, having believed a date went incredibly well but with no murmur of a phone call, she get’s all bunny boiler and frequents a bar she knows he goes to. When I’ve finally realised a man isn’t that into me I can’t help but wonder why. Maybe it would help to know for self improvement and growth or maybe it would just depress me, who knows. I know that when the shoe is on the other foot and my date seems really keen that I feel horrendous being the bitch in the situation but don’t we owe our dates that little bit of respect? When I was younger I would simply ignore the admirers communication but at 27 years old I think it’s the decent thing to be truthful, even if I do get told that karma is going to bite me in the ass or you see the awkward Message Read but they don’t reply.

Most recently I contacted someone I had got along with like a house on fire, I left it a few days before messaging because that’s just the code. I told him how I’d be up for meeting again and supposedly he felt the same, I left it a week and messaged just out of curiosity to see how he was. A few days he tagged me on Facebook and I messaged to thank him but since then I’ve heard nada, we saw each other 4 weeks ago and I’d have hoped that if I had made an impression that I would have seen him already so I think we’ll class this as a He’s just not into you situation. I’m so cool with that but what I’m not cool with is how I’ve been entertained, it’s one of my things to tip toe around the subject but ultimately I’ll say “if you’re busy then I understand,” and unless they’re unwittingly unaware of my hint, I would take their reply with a pinch of salt. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that perfect balance of He Likes Me + She Likes Him, so I’ve had to contend with the pressures of letting my man down gently or feeling like a mug because I’m stuck in limbo not knowing if this person wants to see me.

I’m quite a proud person when it comes to dating and that probably explains my poor success rating. I don’t want to put myself out there and scream from the rooftops “I LIKE YOOOOOOUUUU!” There’s me not wanting to put them in that awkward position that I hate putting people into and there’s me not wanting to get hurt.

And as the film That Awkward Moment ends… SO. Where do I go from here? Well I’ve a date this weekend and I’ll let you know how it goes. So far so good he seems like a good guy, manners, ambition and he’s complimentary. I don’t get that mix often but when I do, I usually run scared. Here I am saying, I need to change my ways and let someone into my life who wants to be in it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VIDEO ::: Katy B ‘What Love Is Made Of’

Having just sat wide-eyed after listening to Katy B’s acoustic version of ‘What Love Is Made Of’. I have decided to put this in writing, Katy B deserves so much more credit than already receiving. Now don’t get me wrong whilst there is plenty of room for the likes of Adele, Emeli Sande and Miss B. I feel that people should take into consideration that she’s a fraction of their size (whether that be in stature or whatever else). Yet her voice is on par and beyond as she produces those soft but strikingly powerful notes. Clearly a master of her trade, I’ve been a little bit gutted after missing Katy B perform over the country at some of the creme de la creme of festivals this summer. So I jumped at the chance when prompted to listen to this beautifully tailored version before seeing the singer at Global Gathering Festival next week.

This stripped back, acoustic version just shows testament to Katy’s spectacular voice. There is no hiding behind electronics. Katy B literally has the power to adapt her own songs as well as others (I remember when she dropped Lauryn Hill’s ‘Doo- Wop (that thing) over the ‘Easy Please Me’ beat). The way Katy can transform a cranked up, Dub and UKG heavy track into something seemingly more dramatic and attentive is amazing.

A faultless performance that highlights her phenomenal voice and paves the way for a less rave oriented second studio album. Katy B definetly looks to be pulling her material towards a love focused vision.

Twitter ::: https://twitter.com/KatyB
Facbook ::: https://www.facebook.com/katyb
Website ::: http://www.katybofficial.com/

Written By Vanessa Carby
Twitter ::: http://www.twitter.com/Oi_CARBY
Facebook ::: http://www.facebook.com/OiCarby

– See more at: http://www.iammusic.tv/video-katy-b-what-love-is-made-of-acoustic-session/#sthash.UXGCV5W0.dpuf